in his Bad Daddy voice.
...
207. As much as you might try,
you can’t squeeze beneath the sofa. Instead, you shove the chewed matchbook into a tuck in the back of the sofa.
...
...
203. “SON OF A BITCH!” bellows your daddy.
He tosses the ashtray and an empty beer can at a window.
...
...
202. You don’t know why you’re hiding,
except that match heads taste pretty good, and your daddy can’t find anything to light his cigarette.
...
...
201. You are two years old and living
in Las Vegas. You remember eating a book of matches, while hiding behind a sofa.
...
...
192. When the girl comes to,
she finds herself in a musty hotel room, tied to a bed, the man gazing down at her.
...
...
190. The detective, an expert
in uncovering missing persons in underworld places, finds the girl and arranges for her kidnapping.
...
...
189. The man, now a numbers runner
and making good money, decided to hire a detective to find the girl.
...
...
187. For over a year, the girl
worked at a club called “The Stardust,” where her showgirl gig involved a red feather boa, pasties, and a thong.
...
...
186. At the Sands, the girl met
an up and coming comedian (you would recognize his name) and got a gig as a showgirl.
...
...
185. When the girl discovered
that the Greek man expected her to perform in adult movies, she ran away and hitched a ride to Las Vegas.
...
...
184. The Greek took the girl to Hollywood,
where he had some connections with the “movie” industry.
...
...
183. Maybe she married the Greek,
and maybe she didn’t, but she left the baby behind with her parents and two flummoxed boyfriends.
...
...
182. Long before the term
“It’s complicated” became such a cliche, the girl ran away with yet a third man, a 45-year-old Greek immigrant.
...
...
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